To My Principal Accuser

“He that is first in his own cause seemeth just; but his neighbour cometh and searcheth him.”

Shirley,

There is grief in me. There is hurt and disappointment. And yes, there is anger.

I am angry that after losing Bella, I had to defend myself against accusations that I had hurt the daughter I loved and tried to save. Those accusations changed how people saw me, how they treated me, and how I was allowed to grieve her.

I want to tell you what I lived through, put the messages and records beside it, and say plainly what I still don’t understand.

You lost your daughter. So did I. I have never needed your grief to be smaller for mine to matter. I wish we were talking about her next birthday, her next game, or something funny she said. I would take an ordinary disagreement now if it meant Bella was still here.

Our marriage was broken. My love for Bella was not.

Before she died, I was fighting for time with her. After she died, I found myself defending both my place in her life and what I did on the morning I tried to save her. I need to tell both parts of that story.

Before any of this, there was a little girl who called me Babe. I want people to understand what happened without losing sight of who she was, or how much I loved being her father.

1. Our marriage and my relationship with Bella

Christmas 2018 and trying to save our marriage

At the end of 2018, what happened to my home-care visit notes broke something in my trust in you. I had taken a trip to Haiti that you were not happy about. I had trusted you with my password and relied on your help with the notes.

I believe you deliberately interfered with them over roughly two months. I lost my job. You denied knowing how it happened, suggested you might have been tired while helping at night, and later said I should not have been doing so many visits.

Afterward, I called you a “piece of shit.” I am not leaving out my own ugly words.

On Christmas morning, December 25, 2018, you woke me up to give me a gift. I was still angry and refused to accept it. You became furious and told me to leave in front of your son, Bella, and your niece. I remember you saying, “You need to leave. I don’t want to be married to you anymore.” While I packed what would fit in my car, I remember you handing me a photograph of Bella and telling me to “pretend she no longer existed.” I left without watching her open her presents.

I still have that photograph. I can hold it, but I cannot hold my daughter.

I had put money, work, and dreams into our home, helped finish the basement as a children’s playroom, and talked with you about your parents moving in someday. I remember you later putting the belongings I could not take into trash bags on the grass and sending me a picture.

Later you said I had pushed you to do it, had already been packing, or could have stayed. When I asked why I had to leave our house, I remember you answering, “That’s how it is. The guy always has to leave.”

I kept reaching out because I wanted to save our marriage and bring our family back together. When I told you I was having panic attacks, I remember you telling me to drink water and that I would be fine. I felt dismissed and alone.

I was not perfect in our marriage. There were arguments I could have handled differently and words I regret. Acknowledging my own failures does not erase what I experienced.

Whenever I raised something you had done that hurt me, I felt you would change the story, deny it, or turn it back on me. I was there too. I grew angry and exhausted trying to get you to acknowledge things we had both lived through. I wanted accountability from the person I loved; instead, my pain became another argument.

Over the years, I became increasingly concerned about your emotional well-being and the way you handled anger. I told you more than once that I believed you needed help. I remember you screaming in the middle of the night when I would ignore you and breaking things in the house during arguments. I did not feel safe raising difficult subjects with you.

After Christmas and what I believed had happened to my work notes, I feared another outburst, further damage to my livelihood, another accusation, or physical harm. I wanted our family back together, but before moving back I needed to feel that we had addressed what happened. I was afraid of being told to leave and separated from Bella all over again.

I also worried that if a confrontation led to an accusation against me, I would not be given an equal chance to be heard.

Those were things I wanted us to talk about in counseling. When you agreed to go, I felt relieved. I needed you to acknowledge what Christmas had done to me—even, “I hurt you. I should not have done that.” I remember bringing up your behavior and you denying it and getting upset.

I remember the therapist reminding you to listen and talk about what I was raising instead of getting upset. Eventually, I remember you saying you no longer wanted to go, and our counseling stopped without resolving those concerns.

I still hope you seek professional help for your mental health and the anger and behavior I have described. I wish we had addressed those concerns before so much of it reached Bella.

I loved you, but eventually my fear became greater than my love. I also remember you saying you “didn’t have to pretend anymore.” You never explained what you meant.

We resumed our relationship, and I came to the house, spent time with Bella, and sometimes stayed overnight. But when you asked me to move back, I told you in September 2019 that I wanted us to strengthen our relationship first. You answered that I was not choosing Bella or us.

Not being ready to live with you was not the same as not wanting my daughter.

The support and relationship you acknowledged

After you kicked me out, you continued asking me to help pay the mortgage and other household bills, and I continued contributing to our home and family. The messages show your requests, my replies, your thanks, and the affection that was still between us. Despite what had happened between us, I still wanted our marriage to work. ^[54]

Over time, I felt that my place in your life depended on continuing to send money and agree to what you wanted. I wanted to feel valued as your husband and Bella’s father, not only for what I could provide.

On December 19, 2022, almost four years after you told me to leave, you sent me an email titled “Rememberance.” You addressed me as “My beloved husband” and wrote:

“You are a provider. You take care of us. I appreciate that even now you take care of us. I thank you.”

In that same email, you wrote, “You are what I need.” You described me as thinking about our future and said you had followed my lead and trusted me. ^[63]

Those words mattered to me. This was a private email before the divorce, before lawyers were arguing over our property, and before Bella’s death. When you later described me as a father who had abandoned his responsibilities, your own acknowledgment of my support and our relationship deserved to be part of that account. ^[63]

When contact became restricted in 2023

The restrictions on my contact with Bella began in 2023, when I started saying no to your demands. Before then, we had resumed our relationship, and I continued coming over and spending time with her.

By March 28, 2023, I was asking you not to treat me as the “money guy.” I remember the arguments over my decision to stop paying your cellphone bill, my refusal to go on the cruise, and your demand that I sign over my interest in our home. There were still invitations and affectionate messages, and you had accepted an earlier refusal to go on the cruise. ^{[54], [57]}

In mid-2023, you emptied our joint account and closed it without my knowledge. Alongside your demands that I give up my interest in our home, the continued threats, and the restrictions on seeing Bella, that became the breaking point for me. I knew then that I no longer had hope for our marriage, and I suggested that we divorce peacefully. I wanted us to resolve our differences without putting Bella in the middle.

I remember this exchange about my interest in the Milton house: I asked you to tell her I would see her the next day, and you asked whether I had completed the deed transfer. When I said it would happen with the divorce, you wrote:

“You will see Bella after the divorce then. If you cared about her you would have completed the quick claim deed already. If you come near her without my authorization I will destroy you.”

You also wrote, “If you come near me or Bella I WILL call the cops on you.” ^[10]

During that period in 2023, after you threatened to call the police if I came near Bella, I would park across from her school and watch her play during recess. I missed my daughter. I was watching her from a distance while trying to avoid another confrontation or an accusation that could get me arrested.

You later told investigators I had gone seventeen months without seeing Bella because I was not interested. You denied keeping her from me. I reject that version of what happened. ^{[4], [48]}

In that message, seeing Bella depended on signing over my interest in the house. Refusing your demand was not refusing my daughter.

I admit that at times I blocked your number for a couple of days. I hoped you would cool off and that the threats and harassment would stop. I remember you then using Bella’s phone or another phone to continue contacting me.

You couldn’t contain yourself and used other numbers to write to me, including Bella’s phone. The messages called me evil, Satan, and a serpent in clothes, then said, “Be ready.” I took that as a threat. My own insulting replies are there too. ^[12]

In your March 20 interview after Bella’s death, you denied writing threatening messages presented in court. I stand by what I have said about who sent them. On June 19, 2023, you also called me an “evil person” and said, “Whenever I speak truth you block.” This is how I remember so many of our disagreements turning into attacks on who I was. ^{[4], [58]}

I remember you asking me to take out life insurance and name you as the beneficiary. Later, during the divorce, you asked the judge to order me to take out life insurance with you named as the beneficiary. Those requests made me uneasy and added to the mistrust I already felt.

You filed for divorce on December 26, 2023. I remember you telling the court that I had contributed nothing toward the house, asking to keep the whole house, and seeking full custody of Bella. You also sought child support, including money you said was owed for an earlier period. The court could decide those financial arguments. What I kept asking was when I could see my daughter.

My fear of losing my relationship with Bella

Earlier that fall, during those months of restricted contact, I had begun to fear that Bella might eventually see me as a stranger. I had helped raise your son, Joshua, since 2011, when he was two years old. On October 12, 2023, I saw him on the train. He walked in, looked at me, and sat directly across from me without acknowledging me—not even a hello.

Isabellapierrelouis.com

Later, after parenting time resumed, there were also times when I brought Bella home and he was outside in the driveway playing basketball with his friends. Again, he did not acknowledge my presence. After years of being part of his life, I felt like a stranger.

I am not writing this to blame him. I cannot know everything he had been told or what he was feeling. But that silence hurt, and it deepened my fear that the same thing could happen with Bella. Would my own daughter someday look at me as though I were a stranger? Would the little girl who called me Babe stop acknowledging me too?

I feared losing my relationship with my daughter while she was still here.

What Bella was telling us

For years, we had both told Bella that Babe was working when she asked why I was not sleeping at the house or where I was. Neither of us was giving her the whole truth. I wanted to preserve her innocence, but the explanation left her trying to understand why work kept her father away.

When you first told me she hoped Babe would lose his job, I thought you were exaggerating. Then I remember hearing her say it whenever I came over. I understood her to mean that if work kept Babe away, losing his job might bring him home.

In October 2023, she asked about Stuffuls and replied “Me too” when I said her dog was missing her. On January 9, 2024, she wrote, “I wish things were the way they were before when you would be here you haven’t visited in a long time.” She wanted all of us together—me, you, and Josh—and said it made her very sad. Her written wishes also included, “Babe will come Home.” ^{[9], [62]}

She missed me. She missed Stuffuls. She wanted her family together. Whatever you thought of me as a husband, those were Bella’s feelings.

Starting in January 2024, my lawyer began reaching out to you, and eventually to your lawyer, to arrange time for me to see Bella. It was not until March 29 that your lawyer responded, proposing therapy to begin reunification between Bella and me. Meanwhile, I was left waiting, unable to see my daughter. ^[49] I remember that you already had a therapist lined up.

I wanted Bella to get whatever help she needed. But why was I being kept from my daughter and then asked to go through a process to restore the relationship we already had? She was telling me she missed me. I could not understand why we had to keep waiting.

The May hearing and our time together again

At the May 2024 court hearing, I asked to spend Father’s Day with Bella. You refused.

The May 23 order gave us regular time together, with dinner visits scheduled to begin May 28 and alternating weekends May 31. By early June, I was finally spending time with Bella again. ^[51]

Bella wasn’t just another $248 going into your account every week. She was my daughter. She was my princess. I wanted to help support her, but I also wanted to be there—to know her everyday life, spend time with her, and let her know she could always count on Babe.

You were right that I worked too much and did not take Bella to her medical appointments. You carried that responsibility, and I should have shared more of it.

In 2024, you had your lawyer send subpoenas to four of my current and former employers and sought my banking and other financial records while seeking more child support. It reinforced my feeling that your financial demands were taking priority over making room for my relationship with Bella. But I reject your claim that I wanted shared custody so I would not have to pay child support. I wanted time with my daughter because I loved her and wanted to be part of her life.

When I finally picked Bella up from school after so many months apart, I remember you coming there and calling me a deadbeat dad. You denied saying it and said you came to make sure she connected with me. That is not how I remember it. I had waited so long to pick up my daughter. ^[51]

In the months after the court ordered parenting time in May 2024, I remember you taking issue with where I took Bella, who accompanied us, her sleeping over at my house, her cousins sharing a bed with her, and my not taking her to your church on my weekends.

You accused me of not feeding her, neglecting her, and leaving her with strangers. They were my family. They were Bella’s family too. Bella told me you kept telling her not to trust them. I wasn’t there for those conversations, but hearing that from her hurt and worried me.

You kept sending Bella with a tracking watch. I asked you to stop and eventually threw it away. You demanded it back. Meanwhile, Bella told me you did not want her bringing her phone to my house or giving me her new number. You wanted to track her while she was with me, while she was telling me I wasn’t supposed to have her phone number. How was I supposed to make sense of that? ^[51]

I remember sending more than a dozen messages asking you to stop harassing me and let me have some peace with my daughter. You said you were concerned about Bella. Why did it seem that every visit with me became another concern? Bella was with her father. I wanted to hear and address any actual problem, but I also wanted the chance to be her father without constantly having to defend that place in her life.

On June 8, I asked you not to make Bella choose sides. I wanted us to talk about her school, camp, sports, and life at home. I suggested family therapy and gave you names of therapists. You agreed, and later said you had contacted them, found no availability, and looked for other options. I wanted us to make that work for Bella. ^{[50], [51]}

On July 17, you wrote that Bella had come home saying she had gone to bed hungry. I asked you to stop telling her I was “the devil” and that she should not trust anything I gave her. I wasn’t there to hear what you said to her, but I was worried enough to put that concern in writing. You denied bullying or harassing me and said you were worried about her safety. I was worried about her emotional safety too. ^[52]

Bella told me you said I was evil and did not want to take care of her. She was a child trying to understand why her parents were apart. What was she supposed to do with those words when she also knew the father she played with, laughed with, and called Babe? I feared you were teaching her to doubt that she was loved by me.

Had you considered what hearing those things could do to her self-esteem, her sense of safety, and her relationship with me?

Therapy, the guardian ad litem, and what Bella told me

The concerns about therapy continued after parenting time resumed in May 2024. You asked Bella’s primary-care doctor for therapy referrals and help with reunification. After months of trying to see her, I feared that the request for therapy had another purpose: to further delay my time with Bella.

In your August 30, 2024 message, you said you had observed Bella punching herself and connected that behavior to her coming to my house. [53] But Bella had also complained about her brother hitting her. In her notebook, in a rap about him, she wrote, “That my brother beats me up every day.” [17]

And in a Christmas wish list, one of Bella’s wishes was simply: “Josh will be nice.” ^[62]

Bella denied hurting herself when she spoke with me. She told me you had asked her to say she was hurting herself so she would not have to visit me. You sought therapy and later a guardian ad litem, while what Bella told me raised serious questions about the explanation you were giving.

Bella also told me that she had not told the guardian ad litem that she did not want to visit me. She told me that was what you wanted her to tell the GAL. She said you had asked her to stop saying “I love you” to me over the phone. I did not hear those conversations myself. I heard about them from Bella.

Putting what she wrote alongside what she told me, I question whether her complaints about being hit were being recast as self-harm and used to oppose her visits with me. Were the people assessing her needs hearing about those complaints too?

During the custody proceedings before Bella’s death, you asked the court to appoint a guardian ad litem while opposing my having contact with her. My understanding is that you initially agreed to be solely responsible for approximately $17,500 in GAL fees. I feared that the serious allegations you were making would influence the assessment and lead to a recommendation that kept Bella away from me.

Ultimately, the GAL did not recommend that I never see Bella. You later asked the court to order me to reimburse you for some of the expense. Paying the GAL does not establish what you expected the conclusion to be, but I still question the sequence: you opposed contact, presented your allegations, agreed to pay, and later sought reimbursement after the process did not result in Bella being kept entirely away from me.

You told investigators that the GAL report was not favorable toward me. But why were the threats I reported left out? Why were Bella’s complaints about her brother hitting her not addressed alongside the concern about self-harm you had raised? Those were different accounts. Describing the report as unfavorable toward me does not answer my questions about what was missing.

When you repeat something Bella reportedly said about me, I want the full context included—when she said it, what she was asked, and whether those were her exact words or someone’s interpretation. Her messages saying she missed me and wanted me home belong in that account too, alongside what she told me about being asked to say otherwise. Bella deserved to be heard fully and accurately.

None of this was Bella’s fault.

A month between hearings or appointments was a month of Bella’s childhood. I know now that time was the one thing none of us had to waste.

The Bella I was fighting for

The time we regained in the last nine months of Bella’s life gave us new memories alongside the ones we already shared.

We had Teacher Tuesday. In her room, Bella, her cousins Fannie and Vicky, and I took turns being the teacher. Bella came prepared with an agenda and classroom rules. When she was in charge, the rest of us had to follow them.

Once, I struggled with a problem from her Russian Math lesson. “It’s easy, Babe. Let me show you,” she said. Then she patiently taught me. The little girl I wanted to help was helping me.

She loved spending time with Fannie and Vicky and spoke about them often. I remember feeling that you disliked hearing how close she was to them. When I recorded Bella playing at my house, she would ask whether Mommy would see the videos. Once, she stopped having fun with her cousins to ask. When I told her no, I saw what looked like relief. “Oh, okay,” she said, and went back to playing.

I don’t know everything that was behind her question. I felt she was worried about you seeing how happy she was with us. Her happiness with me was not a betrayal of you.

You were the one who told me about the boy she argued with because she insisted her father was the best basketball player. I was not there. I loved knowing she was proud of me when I was not even in the room.

You knew there was a relationship behind the name Babe: the drawings, the chocolate she saved for me, the Big Bad Wolf stories, and the Titanic stories she interrupted to add her own parts. Those things were ours before I ever had to explain them to anybody.

For her birthday in 2023, I had “Another Year of You” made for her. Our marriage was falling apart, but I wanted Bella to have something beautiful because she existed. She later told me she had stopped listening because you said the song would get stuck in her head. That hurt. I wanted her to enjoy something her father had given her without feeling caught between us.

You had heard Meat Loaf’s “I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)” a million times. You had watched me dance with Bella to it and seen how happy she was. It became our little game. Out of nowhere she would say, “Babe, don’t play I Would Do Anything for Love.” Then I would play it.

She would run because she knew I would catch her, pick her up, and dance with her. She called it the worst song in the world, but you had seen the joy in those moments. I loved that routine with her.

I would give anything to hear her complain about that song again. These memories do not explain how she died. They explain who I lost.

2. Losing Bella

The morning I tried to save Bella

February 22, 2025, was the worst morning of my life. When I found Bella unresponsive, there was no house in my mind, no divorce, and no argument I wanted to win. There was my daughter, and I was trying to bring her back.

Officer Castillo wrote that he saw me performing CPR and described me afterward as out of breath and visibly shaken. When he asked how many compressions I had done, I could not remember. The little girl I had held while we danced was the little girl I was trying to resuscitate. I was giving her everything I had, hoping the next compression would help bring her back. ^[1]

Then first responders took over. My love did not stop when their hands replaced mine.

Captain Messia remembered me as extremely upset, in shock, and almost visibly shaking. Michael Monteforte remembered me outside the ambulance asking, “How’s she doing?” He described me as distraught and visibly upset. They saw me that morning. I was a father terrified for his daughter, trying to understand what was happening to her. ^[1]

At 8:07 a.m., I texted you that the ambulance had taken Bella to Milton Hospital and that she was not doing well. I remember calling repeatedly, asking hospital staff to keep trying, and giving police your number and address. I desperately needed you to know what was happening to our daughter. ^[2]

At the hospital, doctors, nurses, and staff surrounded my little girl. It felt like the entire hospital was trying to save her. I watched them work. I hoped and prayed. Then I watched them stop.

The State Police report records that Bella was pronounced dead at 8:26 a.m. ^[3]

I cried over her body and kissed my daughter goodbye. Then I went home without her, wishing I could wake up and discover the entire morning had been a nightmare.

You later told investigators that loud knocks woke you around 9:30 a.m., that you then saw my text and missed calls, and that you arrived a little before or around 10. You also said you tried calling me back but could not reach me. By the time you said you learned what had happened, I had already tried to save Bella and heard that she had died. I am not blaming you for being asleep before you knew. I needed you to understand what I had already lived through. ^{[2], [4]}

Being a nurse did not make Bella less my child. I gave everything I had and still had to leave the hospital without her.

Only hours after Bella died, I remember you sending your nephew to collect her travel bag from my house. At first, I thought you wanted something she had carried or touched.

The next day I asked for peace

On February 23, at 12:30 p.m., I wrote:

Hi Shirley, my deepest condolences to you, your side of the family and friends. I know how much you guys loved and cared for Bella also. It is a shocking, painful, and difficult time for all of us. Let us put our differences aside and start working on the funeral arrangement for her. If there is anything I can help with, please let me know.

I meant every word. I knew you loved Bella too. I was asking you to put our differences aside so we could do this one last thing together for our daughter. ^[5]

Later that afternoon, you asked what Bella had eaten, what she had done, whether she felt sick, who was there, and when I found her. You said answers would help you process the loss. I understood the questions. I was trying to process it too. ^[5]

I could tell you what I had seen. I could not give you a complete medical explanation because I did not have one. Not having every answer was not the same as having the answers and cruelly withholding them.

3. The accusations and their consequences

The February 24 meeting and early suspicion

I remember the public accusations starting within days of Bella’s death. As “Justice for Bella” began, I felt you had already decided her death was intentional and that I was responsible. I also remember the early public statement that no foul play was suspected. That was an early assessment. I wanted investigators to find out what happened before people decided I had done something to my daughter.

On February 24, you went to the district attorney’s office with your attorney, Renisha, and Rosenie. The State Police report records concerns about custody, alleged threats, food, powder, my character, my finances, and my access to medications as a nurse. It also says you did not make a specific allegation about the cause of Bella’s death at that meeting. The group asked for my passport to be revoked while investigators said their work was still in its early stages. You also said Bella did not typically chew gum. ^[6]

I believe your request to revoke my passport was connected to lingering anger over my 2018 trip to Haiti. I also believed you had sabotaged my work notes, contributing to my losing my job.

Being a nurse with access to medication is not evidence that I gave Bella anything to harm her.

On Saturday, February 22, 2025, we were both told at the hospital that a piece of gum had been found in Bella’s airway. The State Police report records a nurse describing the obstruction as something that appeared to be chewing gum. You had heard what I heard that day. How did that information become part of your suspicion that I had deliberately harmed our daughter? ^{[3], [6]}

I felt everything about me was being turned against me. I believed you and the people with you were pushing for my arrest, although the report records a request about my passport. The day before, I had asked you to put our differences aside so we could bury our daughter.

The March 11 allegations and the hospital record

Your March 11, 2025 email asked for Bella’s case to be classified as a homicide investigation. You accused me of threatening her and saying she would “regret betraying her father.” I did not threaten Bella. I did not tell her she would be sorry. ^[18]

You also questioned why I performed CPR when you believed she had already been dead for some time, pointing to my being a nurse. The officer who was there recorded me out of breath from doing CPR. I could not save her. I should not also have had to defend the fact that I tried. ^{[1], [18]}

In the same email, you accused me and my family of removing hospital equipment after Bella died. After I had left, the State Police trooper entered the trauma room and recorded seeing the surgical airway still in place. A March 10 report records that the airway tube and right-arm IV were missing when Bella was taken to the morgue at 4:48 p.m. on February 22, after you and your friends and family had also left. ^{[3], [18]}

Reading your March 11 email, I felt you were willing to fabricate anything that would make me a suspect. I believed you wanted revenge, and that these accusations were another way to punish me. What evidence did you have before making those accusations? I want the discrepancy with the trooper’s account addressed. I do not know who removed the equipment or why.

The funeral and the public story

When Bella’s funeral was held on March 15, I felt shut out of the arrangements and unacknowledged as her father at the service. I do not remember my name being mentioned as her father. I had asked to work together to honor and bury our daughter.

Later, in the divorce, you brought up that I had not paid toward the funeral. We can look at the bills. But that does not answer what it felt like to be left out after I had asked you to work together. My place as her father was not something a funeral bill could decide.

Alongside the funeral arrangements, in those early weeks, you appeared on WBZ talking about Bella’s death. I remember watching and feeling that people were being led to suspect me before investigators had reached that conclusion. I also remember the video being used with the fundraising campaign.

The fundraiser update attributed to Renisha emphasized that Bella had been at her father’s house for a court-ordered overnight. It used words like “cruelty” and “theft” to describe the loss and the lack of answers. It did not come out and say I had killed Bella, but reading it, I felt the finger was being pointed at me. ^[20]

In that story, I was the father whose house she had visited. I wanted people to know I was also the father who tried to save her. I am not angry that people helped you. I am hurt and angry that an appeal about our daughter left me struggling to find room for the father who had lost her too.

After the campaign began, I received harassing and threatening calls. My number and address were posted online, and a reporter came to my house. After Bella’s funeral, people walked behind me shouting accusations about what I had supposedly done to my daughter. That became part of my memory of the day I said goodbye to her.

How did those callers get my phone number? How did the reporter get my address? How did the people behind me at the funeral recognize me, and what had they been told? What did you tell people about me? Did you share my number or address, or encourage anyone to confront me?

I wanted to remember my daughter without feeling that every memory had to become evidence of my love for her.

Food allegations and the medical findings

In your March 20 interview, you said Bella had told you the food sometimes tasted or smelled like “poop.” When the trooper asked whether she meant unfamiliar food or something wrong with it, you said both and mentioned that she disliked Haitian food. How did what you said she told you become a reason to suspect that I had poisoned her? ^[4]

You later accused me, in your statements to investigators, of putting what you described as voodoo in the travel bag your nephew had collected on February 22. I deny that allegation. Looking back, I believe you sent for the bag to build a story against me. That is my interpretation of your actions; I cannot establish what you intended when you sent for it.

On April 27, you asked investigators to test for tetrodotoxin, or TTX. You brought voodoo and powder into it. I did not poison my daughter. I had never even heard of tetrodotoxin before this allegation. What evidence did you have when you raised it? ^[18]

The emails show that investigators tried to find a laboratory that could test for TTX. They do not show a negative result, and I won’t pretend they do. But asking for a test is not evidence that I poisoned Bella. ^[18]

First there was the complaint in July 2024 that Bella had gone hungry. Later came these suspicions about her food. Those were different accusations. What matters to me is that, before she died, I was already asking you to stop encouraging her to distrust what I gave her. ^[52]

The final autopsy report was signed June 26, 2025. It records cardiopulmonary arrest in an adolescent with upper airway obstruction by foreign body, an inflammatory process of the lungs, pleural effusions, and positive findings for Coronavirus NL63, Leuconostoc lactis, and Staphylococcus aureus. The manner is recorded as undetermined.

The death certificate, amended June 29 and certified July 3, records those cause-of-death findings and separately states that the manner “Could not be determined.”

These records identify medical findings while leaving the manner of death undetermined. Neither says that I caused Bella’s death. I want people to be told both what the doctors found and what remains unanswered.

I picked Bella up from your house on Friday, February 21, 2025, at approximately 3 p.m. On our way home, we stopped at a store and then went home. I answered investigators’ questions and provided an account beginning when I picked her up. You communicated no health concerns to me at pickup.

The medical findings do not establish when her illness began, but understanding how she was doing before that Friday matters. Had you noticed any symptoms or changes in her breathing, energy, appetite, or sleep? Had she received medical care or medication? Did you give investigators a complete account of what you knew? Was there anything about her health that you knew but did not share with them? If so, what was it, and why did you leave it out? I do not know everything you told investigators. But any information you had—including whether she appeared well—mattered to understanding what happened to Bella. The allegations you made against me that I know to be false were no substitute for a complete and accurate account of our daughter’s final days.

I also understand that after Bella died, you contacted the GAL and her therapist. Both had been involved with her during our custody dispute. I do not know the precise timing or have the full conversations.

What did you ask them? What did they tell you? Did they have information that helped explain what happened to Bella?

The court encounter, private investigator, and my safety

After the February 10, 2026 hearing, I remember Renisha Silva coming up behind me and confronting me angrily. She asked why I was looking at her and said, “You don’t want to know me.” I understood that as a threat.

Have you ever hired or paid anyone to physically hurt me?

You had described the woman I know as Renisha as a police officer and someone who “says whatever comes in her head.” That was in my mind when she confronted me. I believed she was acting for you; I don’t know whether you had asked her to. ^[60]

Then there is Craig Nicewicz. In his sworn May 15, 2026 affidavit, he said you had independently retained him to investigate Bella’s death. He said his investigation had nothing to do with our divorce, child support, property, custody, or parenting time.

I understand that Craig contacted members of my family and former partners. One of the people he called described the April 1 conversation in a signed statement: questions about child support, a statement that I did not like paying it, and information about my family that he said he had learned through probate discovery. How does that fit with an investigation he said had nothing to do with our divorce? What did you ask him to investigate, and who gave him that information?

I also understood from accounts shared with me that Craig had asked about hidden bank accounts or businesses I might have. I was not present for those conversations. Those reported questions added to my concern that our financial dispute was being drawn into an investigation of Bella’s death. How would those questions help explain what happened to her?

That statement also describes an allegation that I pulled a gun on someone. The allegation is false. Why was Craig repeating it while acknowledging that he did not know for sure whether I was even the person involved? What was his source, what did he verify, and to whom did he repeat it? An accusation that serious can damage a person’s name even when it is followed by uncertainty. The call transcript also includes qualifications about my responsibility for Bella’s death; he described an “undetermined death.”

At his August 4 deposition, Craig said he had received no compensation and had no contract, fee agreement, engagement letters, invoices, billing records, or payment records for the investigation. The June 25 order limited the deposition to engagement and payment matters. The lawyers disagreed about which questions it allowed. My lawyer suspended the deposition, and the transcript says it ended without agreement.

His affidavit said you retained him; his deposition described no compensation or engagement documents. Being retained and being paid are different questions, but I still want a clear explanation of his arrangement with you. What work did you authorize? Did Craig Nicewicz receive any payment or expense reimbursement from funds raised in Bella’s name, directly or through someone else? Was his work entirely unpaid, or was there an agreement or expectation of later payment?

Returning to the period when I learned of those contacts, I remember a blue Honda Accord following me at night. I never identified the driver or established whether there was any connection to Craig or to you.

Did you ask Craig to follow me? Did you ask Renisha, or anyone else, to follow or watch me? I want a direct answer about whether anyone was acting at your request.

After the threatening calls, the confrontations, and what I experienced as being followed at night, I began fearing for my safety. Now I also worry about my family. Could they be threatened or harmed because of the accusations against me?

I fear that what I see as a quest for vengeance could reach beyond me and hurt people I love. Have you asked or encouraged anyone to follow, threaten, intimidate, or harm me or anyone in my family? If anyone has spoken to you about doing so, what have you done to discourage or stop them?

I do not know who was behind those incidents or whether you had any involvement. I am describing the fear they have left me with and asking you direct questions. I have already lost Bella. I should not have to grieve my daughter while wondering whether I or someone in my family will be harmed.

4. My questions and what I am asking for

The fundraiser money

Alongside those events, questions about the money raised in Bella’s name remained unresolved.

The saved fundraiser image shows $89,267 raised toward a $100,000 goal and names “Renisha Talbot for Shirley Joseph.” The September 15, 2026 archive note describes the later page as asking for help with funeral and memorial costs, time away from work, household needs, counseling, and grief support. [24]

The later description also thanked people who donated through Regine Jean-Charles’s Venmo. I don’t know how much came through Venmo or whether it was included in the GoFundMe total. ^[24]

My understanding is that, while our divorce was ongoing, the money raised in Bella’s name was placed in an irrevocable trust, with Renisha Silva and Rosenie Josiane Manigat as trustees. These were the same people who accompanied you to the February 24 meeting, where the group asked investigators to revoke my passport. Their later role as trustees left me with questions. Why was that arrangement chosen, and did our divorce have anything to do with it? ^{[6], [61]}

The account records show substantial money leaving the account. The trustees challenged the judge’s refusal to quash the subpoena, but the Appeals Court denied their petition on November 28, 2025.

The Special Master’s April 14, 2026 order required you to produce the trust’s Citizens Bank records and, if you could not obtain the statements yourself, to direct the trustees in writing to produce them to you. I still have not received what I consider a complete accounting. [61]

Was any money remaining after Bella’s funeral divided among you, Renisha Silva, and Rosenie Josiane Manigat? Did either trustee receive payments or another financial benefit? If so, for what purpose?

Money can influence people’s decisions. I want to know whether funds raised in Bella’s name paid for any action taken against me, including legal fees or investigative expenses. Was any of it used for your lawyers or other expenses in our divorce?

Did any funds raised in Bella’s name go toward Adam Deitch’s campaign, directly or through someone else? Your public support for him does not establish that a contribution occurred. If one did come from the fundraiser, who authorized it, and how did it fit the purposes described to donors?

I do not know the answers. Provide a complete accounting showing all money received, including any donations outside GoFundMe; every payment and withdrawal; who received it; its purpose; who approved it; and the balance remaining. People donated in our daughter’s name. They deserve to know how their money was used.

I remember you writing that an update would follow. I have not seen the medical findings explained with the same urgency as the accusations. People were asked to care about Bella, share her story, and give money. They deserve to hear what the medical records say too.

I cannot know what motivated each person to donate. But I question whether the accusations against me helped turn sympathy for Bella into donations and anger toward me. Were you asking people to help a grieving family, or using their compassion to rally them against me?

What Outcome Do You Want?

I remember seeing you in an Adam Deitch campaign video in August 2026, with language saying your daughter’s death remained “undetermined” and that you were “still seeking answers.” I remember you saying, “I’m supporting Adam Deitch.”

Investigators had a responsibility to examine your allegations. I would not have expected them simply to take my word for it because I denied them. But investigating an allegation is not the same as establishing that it is true.

From what I have experienced, I believe you want me arrested and are not really interested in finding out what happened to Bella. You seem willing to accept only an explanation that blames me.

Wanting me arrested is not an answer to what happened to Bella.

I want to know what happened to Bella. If there is more to learn, I want it examined.

What part of the medical findings do you disagree with, if any? What has not been looked into, and what new evidence or information are you asking investigators to consider?

If you are repeating earlier allegations, tell me what has changed and what evidence you are relying on.

Your actions have left me questioning whether you are seeking answers about Bella or seeking to punish me. I believe our history—the demands I refused, my decision not to return to the marriage, and our disputes about money and the house—may be influencing your accusations against me.

I cannot know your motives with certainty. That is why I am asking you to identify the evidence behind each accusation and explain what you want investigators to examine. If I am wrong about what is driving your actions, answer those questions directly.

What I need you to understand

I am angry and disgusted by the threats and false accusations I have described, and by having to defend myself against you while grieving our daughter. It hurts to feel this way about someone I once loved and trusted. I do not want to be near you, but I will do what is required of me in this divorce and any other legal proceedings. Any necessary communication should be in writing or through our lawyers.

Stop the threats, harassment, intimidation, and false allegations. Correct those claims with the people you told and through the same channels you used to spread them. I no longer expect you to do that, but it remains your responsibility. I have lived with the damage to my reputation, the harassment, and the fear. Your silence would not undo that harm.

I will not erase myself from Bella’s life or leave your accusations unanswered. Readers can examine my account alongside the records. Whether you ever acknowledge the harm or not, I have a right to be heard.

Keep our disputes about money and the house in the divorce, and leave me room to grieve and remember my daughter.

Where something remains unknown, leave it unknown. Do not turn a question into a conclusion or pass suspicion along as fact.

No one reading this should threaten you, harass you, or hurt anyone around you. More cruelty will not honor Bella.

Bella deserved to love her mother and her father openly, without guilt, pressure, or fear of betraying either one. She should never have had to carry our anger, take sides in our divorce, or prove loyalty by rejecting someone she loved. Her happiness and peace should always have mattered more than either parent’s pride or resentment.

My love for Bella was never a competition with you. She was our daughter. She deserved room to love us both.

Underneath all of this, I miss my daughter.

I miss her interruptions, her stories, her chocolate, Teacher Tuesday, and the little girl who could make Babe follow her classroom rules. I miss being somebody’s Babe in the particular way I was hers.

On February 22, I tried to save our daughter. On February 23, I reached out to you. I still wish that, even for a moment, we could have met simply as two parents who had lost the same little girl.

I cannot give Bella another birthday. I cannot finish the life I imagined watching her live. But I can remember her and preserve what she gave me.

Our marriage is ending. Being Bella’s father did not.

She called me Babe.

I loved being her Babe.

I still do.

Dukens

Bella’s Babe. Always.